


Coin a new catchphrase.

by DragonSorceress22



Series: Dove Chocolate One Shots [11]
Category: Static Shock
Genre: 23 puns in 1100 words - collect them all!, Bad Puns, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Makeouts, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, Short One Shot, aren't you glad I don't attempt it more often, high pun density, puns, this is what happens when I try to write humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 16:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18014747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSorceress22/pseuds/DragonSorceress22
Summary: Puns and makeouts. What more do you need?





	Coin a new catchphrase.

**Author's Note:**

> As usual I have wandered quite away from the prompt. Beta’d by [solomonara](http://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara/works) anyway! lol The “pun density” tag is also her fault.

Virgil walked back into the living room of his and Richie’s apartment, just out of the shower and wearing only a white tank and blue boxers.

Richie didn’t look up. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room, his elbow on his thigh and his chin in his palm as he stared down at one of his rocket skates. Something in the propulsion system had blown, causing an early end to the night’s patrol. Despite Virgil’s best efforts to get Richie to leave the skates at HQ for later work, Richie had insisted on clocking at least a little more time on what exactly had caused the problem. Evidently a little more time hadn’t done much good.

“Haven’t figured it out yet?” Virgil asked. He dropped onto the exact center of the couch and spread out, arms draped across the back and legs kicked out in front of him, toes wiggling a few inches from Richie’s skate.

“How could you tell,” Richie replied flatly.

“Dude, I can practically _see_ the gears turnin’ in your head.”

“Heh.” Richie finally looked up with a smirk. “You wanna give it a shot? _You_ think you got what it takes, but I don’t know if you can hack it. Might short-circuit your brain.”

“Oh, you think so, huh? Even with my–” He jumped up and struck a pose. “Lighting fast reflexes?”

Richie’s snorted out a laugh. “No chance.”

“What, you want character references?” Virgil asked, crouching. He poked the tips of his pointer fingers together a few times and a spark snapped with each touch. “I can put some contacts together.”

“Yeah,” Richie said, holding it together with his nose in the air. “But that would just be a power play.”

“Well you don’t have to be so negative.” Virgil dropped back to sit on the floor and poked the skate with a toe. “You’ve got a big responsibility as a hero, y’know? I mean, kids vlookup to you.”

He tried to hold it in. He lasted about two seconds. “ _Ha_!” Richie burst out. “Oh man, you did not just use an Excel joke. A _forced_ Excel joke. Why.” He was laughing through every word, his eyes scrunched and his face a little pink.

Virgil grinned and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked. I’ve always _excelled_ at witty one-liners.”

“Hah! Ah, okay.” Richie shoved his tools aside and pushed his glasses up his forehead so he could rub at the small tears in his eyes. “Anyway,” he said as he straightened the frames again. “I wouldn’t say the hero thing is a _big_ responsibility. Really, it’s more… _byte_ -sized.” His grin was cheeky, one eyebrow quirked, but Virgil kept his poker face.

“Well it’s good that you don’t let it go to your head, man.” He pushed to his feet and leaned down to give Richie’s shoulder a pat. “Gotta stay grounded, y’know?”

Richie was laughing at Virgil’s goofy grin as much as the bad jokes by then, but he sighed when Virgil offered him a hand up.

“Come on, Rich. Take a break and come back to that in the morning. It’s not goin’ anywhere.”

“Yeah. All right.” He took Virgil’s hand and stood, stretching his arms high above his head and bending back a little with a groan. He didn’t miss Virgil’s eyes on him. “What?” he laughed.

“Hm… nothin’,” Virgil decided, but he still took Richie’s hand to tug him over a step so he could touch a kiss to the corner of Richie’s lips. He got more than he’d bargained for when Richie almost immediately pushed in for a longer kiss instead.

“Uh oh,” Virgil mumbled against him. “Did I flip a switch here?”

“Don’t know what you mean,” Richie murmured back, lips no longer touching but very, very close.

“Heh. I don’t know, man.” He let his hands smooth down the front of Richie’s t-shirt, over his chest and stomach then around to his hips. “You just seem a little wired tonight.” He dipped in for another kiss and Richie met it but kept it brief even as Virgil pulled him in closer.

“Hold on, mister hero,” Richie said, and Virgil could hear the smirk in his voice. “Don’t you think we should at least get some dinner first? On you, of course.”

“What? Why on me?”

“Oh, you know,” Richie said. “I figured you could _charge_ it.”

“Ha ha,” Virgil replied dryly. “And here I was tryin’ to help you out. Thought you might have a little extra hardware to take care of.” His eyebrows said it all and Richie’s eyes were dancing.

“I think you’ve just illuminated the line between puns and innuendo,” he said.

“Why? Did something I said get you excited?”

Richie pushed closer again, his forehead bumping up against Virgil’s. “Downright galvanized,” he drawled, taking the bait with a roll of his eyes.

Virgil just grinned and kissed him again. His hands snuck up the back of Richie’s shirt, not just for more skin but so he could press Richie closer. Richie shifted almost unconsciously, letting Virgil’s leg between his own, thigh pressing. A little moan worked its way out of Richie’s mouth and into Virgil’s.

“So then,” Virgil said, pulling out of the kiss. “Dinner first? You’re positive?”

Richie’s smile was a little sharp, his laugh a little rough. “Well… maybe we need to switch gears after all.”

Richie felt a literal spark in the crush of their next kiss but they didn’t break apart until the lights shorted out.

“Heh, oops,” Virgil laughed, sheepish. “Guess I oughtta cut back the juice. ‘Specially if I’m gonna have my hands all over you, huh.”

“I… I don’t know,” Richie muttered, clinging close. “Hands on me. Some Static action. Might work best if you did those… concurrently?”

He felt Virgil’s laugh all the more when he folded against him. “I have _no_ idea if you mean that or if you just really wanted to make that pun work.”

Richie pushed him back a step in the dark, forcing him to straighten so Richie could get at his neck. He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s pulse then wet his lips, trailing down and up again. “Why not both?”

“H-Heh. Really?”

It was one of those rare times when Virgil was not supremely confident. Richie let his grin through in his voice, solid and reassuring. “No joke.”

The couch was right behind Virgil and Richie knew it. He pushed forward one more time and the two of them tumbled onto the cushions, letting their laughter mingle in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe it took me THIS LONG to dip into this fandom. It’s so much fun!
> 
> BUT, if you’re here because you follow me for DCMK, that’s still my sweet addiction ♥ (and Tales of Travel is still in the works!)


End file.
